Brayden was stretched out on the couch in his living room, looking at the ceiling of the apartment for possibly the last time. Tomorrow, he’d move into the new apartment. It had taken a couple weeks for all the paperwork and credit checks to happen, but he’d received his move in date for the first of February. He had gotten to see the place again after all the staged furniture had been moved out. Graciously they had left the blinds on the balcony windows. Seeing the empty space had inspired him. Taking a page out of his blue-collar dads book he measured out some of the spaces, deciding on the size of couch, and narrowing down his pick between two. Lillian had picked the small sectional in a warm beige colour. She had finally stopped fighting him about picking out all the décor for the space when he had been approved.

The couch and other furniture would be delivered later in the week, he had taken a whole rotation off work for the move. Brayden rolled himself off the couch and into his room. Lillian’s dad had loaded all of Brayden’s boxes into his own truck, insistent on helping with the move. All Brayden had left in his room was his furniture. Lillian’s brothers had come and helped him pack his computer and TV’s gently into the back of Lillian’s Jeep earlier, and helped him take his bedframe apart, ready to be moved. He looked at the mattress on the floor.

He looked around the space in awe, one small bedside table and the dresser from his childhood room, the mattress on the floor and his computer on the desk he brought from his room back home. And it was all his. His parents had left 10 minutes ago, and he was finally on his own. James slung an arm over his shoulder, startling him.

“Its really happening.” James grinned over at him.

“Yeah.” Brayden smiled back just as wide.

He’d been dreaming about moving out for years, into the city proper. He’d got a job doing mall security downtown and had to move closer to work, another guy from his training classes wanted to move out too and needed a roommate. Brayden jumped at the opportunity. The two boys just smiled at each other plopping down into the second-hand couches James had gotten from his parents and made a shopping list for the next day.

Brayden smiled wistfully at the memory. James and him really had been close, once. He had met Lillian just hours before that for the first time. He plopped down onto the mattress and examined the rest of the room. All the little things he had collected over the years were packed up in boxes in the back of a truck. It was so empty, and somehow it looked small. How had he existed in this space for so many years? He glanced a dent in the wall where his headboard used to rest. He remembered the girl he had put it there with. Or was it the other one? Brayden shook his head and examined all the nicks and scratches in the walls that made up his room for his whole adult life so far. He’d asked James if he wanted Brayden to fix them before he left, James just waved his hand saying he’d handle it.

Brayden’s eyes began to sting, and he felt his nose grow warm. It wasn’t weird, being a little sentimental about it, was it? Guilt crashed into him like a wave. James and him really had been friends, they’d moved up in security and worked on their policing applications together, had done the academy together. Flopping back to of course, stare at his ceiling, he pondered when their relationship had started to fall apart. It had probably started after the academy 3 years ago. James had started to change. Brayden couldn’t pinpoint it before but now he saw the drinking and the way he had started to treat Lillian differently. He had spoken to a higher-up weeks ago, about confronting James’s drinking problem. He thought he noticed James doing better since then. Brayden hoped he was taking the support seriously.

A sudden need to apologize to him filled Brayden’s chest. What had happened with Lillian was wrong. He had taken her right from under James, and he couldn’t regret having her now, but he could regret how it all went down. Forcing himself up, rubbing the tears off his face roughly, he opened his bedroom door.

James opened his own door at the same time, clearly headed for Brayden’s room.

“James.” Brayden started.

“Brayden.” James uttered in union.

“We should probably talk, hey?” Brayden sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah.”

“I – I just want to say I’m sorry. For how everything happened. For what I did to you.” Brayden muttered not meeting James’ eyes.

“You weren’t wrong, trying to save her. I was never going to be enough for her. She always loved me more then I should have loved her. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know how to make her happy anymore. Plus, the drinking. I think I probably started to lose her long before you got involved. I used you as an excuse for why my relationship was falling apart. I hated how happy she looked when you two were in the same room. She used to look at me like that.” James choked out with misty eyes.

“I crossed a lot of lines that should’ve stayed intact. I never should have flirted with her so openly or told her how I felt when she was still with you. It was fucked up, especially how I flaunted it that night you guys broke up.” Brayden finally met his eyes.

“It wasn’t great you’re right, but you were doing what was best for her. Even my friends knew what a piece of shit I was being. I treated her really shitty and it’s my own fault she’s gone.”

“You know living here with you, even if this is how we go out, I will always remember it as being a lot of fun. We used to be pretty good friends. I hope that’s what I remember about this time.”

James nodded, swallowing clearly not trusting himself to speak. Brayden felt his own throat close.

“Marry her, okay?” James whispered, aggressively wiping a tear off his face.

“I will.” Brayden nodded back letting the tears run down his own face freely. “I haven’t slept with her, by the way. She, Lily, wouldn’t do that to you. A lot of stuff happened that shouldn’t have but you know. She’s a good person. I’m going to work really hard for her. So, none of you have to worry about her, okay?” Fighting back the sobs trying to rack his shoulders.

Brayden’s vision was clouded almost completely by tears, his voice broken. James couldn’t control the tears flowing down his own face and just nodded that he had heard him. Brayden held his hand out to shake James’. James took it but pulled Brayden in for hug. Brayden returned the sentiment, and they cried together for another minute before breaking apart awkwardly.

“Okay.” James muttered, offering Brayden a wet half-hearted smile before returning to his room, closing the door tightly.

Brayden breathed out hard, trying to staunch his tears. He had half expected to get yelled at or belittled. Maybe James was just as cut up as he thought, and the girl was just him trying to get Lillian out of his system. Brayden felt a sharp pang of sympathy for him. He knew that feeling. He shook his hands trying to let go of all the sad, sentimental feelings plaguing him. He scrubbed the tears off his face briskly and turned to go back into his own room. The mattress on the floor threatened to take him again when his phone dinged in his pocket.

I hope you’re doing okay, I bet your last night feels really weird <3 How did you know?

Because change is hard Ben, and I know you two used to be friends, it’s a lot. We aren’t teenagers anymore and I think that makes us more aware of what every stage of our lives mean.

Will you tease me if I tell you I cried / am crying?

No honestly, I’d tease you if you didn’t. You’re moving out of your first place, that’s gotta be crazy emotional.

Thank you You should get to bed. We’ll be there early tomorrow to help move your last bits.

So should you.

I was going to as soon as I made sure you were doing okay. Are you doing okay?

I think so.

Then get into bed!

I never asked James about the canvas btw, I walked in on him with that girl and panicked. I didn’t mean to lie about it I just forgot and came up with something to say cuz I didn’t know how to tell you.

You’re avoiding sleeping. Ask him tomorrow if it’s bothering you but honestly its fine. He’ll probably say no.

Okay. You know, I love you.

I love you too.

Goodnight <3 Goodnight <3 Brayden again plopped onto the bed and laid down. Rolling himself in his blanket solemnly. He felt so emotionally drained suddenly, and it took almost no time at all before he was fast asleep.

When he opened his eyes in the morning his phone was ringing. A familiar picture of Lillian and him on Christmas was lighting up his phone. He would have to remember to thank Alex for being such a photographer when no one was looking, constantly hauling his camera around with him. Remembering to answer the call came next, blearily swiping.

“Hello?” He croaked.

“Good morning.” Lillian warmly replied.

“I’ve never met a good morning, but sure. What is it I can help you with?”

“You could let us into the apartment. I let you sleep in too long I know but you gotta get up now. Put on some clothes and ring us in yeah?”

“Fuck, right. One sec. I’ll buzz you in.” Brayden yawned going to roll out of bed and hitting the floor.

He hissed and rubbed his elbow, while Lillian chittered away with who he assumed was her brothers.

“Are you okay?” Slightly amused.

“Yeah, I just forgot my bed was on the floor.” Brayden grumbled. “I’ll let you guys in now, see you in a sec.”

“Alright.” She answered laughing before hanging up.

The security buzz rang through his phone seconds later, letting him open the front door for the three of them. Brayden pulled the clothes he had been wearing the day before, back on and padded softly out of his room. James was in the kitchen, pouring himself a coffee.

“She’s here?”

“So are Liam and Alex.” Brayden confirmed.

“I’ll probably be scarce. You guys can drink the rest of the coffee.”

James went to disappear back into is room when Brayden fumbled with words.

“The canvas, that Lillian took, she wanted to know if you wanted it back. She says it yours and if you want it, you should have it.”

James contemplated for a minute.

“I do kind of want it back. It was a good piece of art. If I ever want to get rid of it, I’ll just drop it off at her house.”

“Okay. It’s in my truck, we’ll leave it here.”

James just nodded before closing his door. Brayden huffed and poured himself a generous cup of coffee when a knock came at his door. Quickly the three siblings let themselves in saving Brayden the trouble.

“Coffee? I smell coffee.” Alex appeared.

He glared at everyone between him and the coffee pot, pouring himself a black coffee, gobbling it down greedily.

“I’m glad that I’m not the only one who hates being up this early.” Brayden yawned.

“Ha.” Lillian scoffed pouring her own café eu lait. “I know we wake up early on Christmas, but we would all much rather be asleep right now.”

Liam didn’t say a word pouring the rest of the pot into a cup. Brayden grinned between the two bleary eyed boys and Lillian’s more awake demeanor.

“You seem pretty happy.”

“I love helping people move, okay?” Sipping her coffee.

Brayden just hummed back and swallowed the last of his coffee before putting his cup in the sink.

“Possession is at 11, so we have 3 hours to work on getting all my shit out of here and then picking up your dad’s truck and the Jeep.”

Three sounds of agreeance followed. 10 minutes later Brayden was headed downstairs to move his truck closer to the door where he had gotten permission to park it for the morning. When he hopped out of the truck, he remembered to grab the canvas out of the bed before heading back up. As he headed into the elevator, he had to flip it around as Mrs. Wilson wobbled out.

“Morning, Dear.”

“Morning Mrs. Wilson. Just so you know I’m moving out today but James will still be around.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to see you go Brayden. Did you finally find yourself a nice girl?”

“Yes Mrs. Wilson.”

“Good boy. Tell James I’ll drop some cookies by later. I hope it’s not the last time I see you deary but if it is: Thank you for making us old folk feel nice and safe here. We’ll miss you, slip your new address under my door so I can send you a Christmas card alright?” Patting his cheek lightly.

“Of course, Mrs. Wilson. I’ll miss you too.” Brayden flashed his winning cop smile.

“Alright, goodbye dear.” Mrs. Wilson smiled up at him before going to find her car.

Brayden smiled back at the elderly women gently and finally stepped into the elevator. He would miss that old lady. She had brought James and him cookies since they moved in. She had been so happy to have young fit security guards in the building and she had been so proud when they both made it to the academy. The sentimental feeling built itself back up in his chest on his way back to the apartment. Brayden sighed as he opened the door, smelling another pot of coffee being made, and could hear light music playing from someone’s phone. He dropped the canvas just outside James’ door before venturing into his own room. Lillian sat cross legged on his messy bed, grinning up at him.

“I just saw Mrs. Wilson in the elevator and had to say goodbye to her.” Feeling a little misty as he whispered to Lillian plopping down next to her.

“Awe Mrs. Wilson! I’m sorry Ben, she was such a nice old lady.”

“Yeah.” Leaning his head on her shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry. This seems harder than you expected it to be.” Lillian rubbed gentle circles on his back.

“It is. I didn’t think I’d feel so damn corny about everything.” Brayden huffed, languishing in the warmth of her hand on his back.

“Don’t worry. We can slow down if you want. Maybe give you a little more time?”

“No, it’s okay. I really am excited to move into the new place. Once we get there, I’m sure I’ll feel better.” He kissed her temple before forcing himself up from the floor.

“What are you guys thinking first?” Brayden asked the boys.

They had a rather kind way of going unnoticed when they needed to be. They had never made Brayden feel weird about his private words with Lillian."So, we have your dresser, plus drawers, the desk, bedframe, your end table, coffee table, and mattress.” Alex listed off with his fingers.

“Don’t worry about the coffee table James is going to keep it.” Brayden waved.

“Cool, cool. I’m thinking dresser drawers in your cab along with the end table. I think it’ll all fit there. Bed frame, desk, and dresser in the back. Liam also brought his friends truck and some sheets for his bed so we can move your mattress in there.”

“Jesus, this is going to take 20 minutes, why are we up so early?” Brayden exclaimed.

“Well after moving Kat and Jasmine so many times we were prepared for a hellish time. Especially after seeing the boxes.” Alex shrugged.

“It sounds easy but actually getting it all in the elevator and into the trucks won’t be nearly as easy as you think.” Lillian added.

“That too. Plus, we have to go to our place and pick up the other two cars with the rest of your shit we so conveniently packed for you.”

“I knew you guys were judging my boxes.”

“They tend to.” Liam finally spoke up.

The other two shot looks at them both, slightly amused.

“C’mon its already 8:30, lets move.” Alex roused them all up.

They weren’t kidding when they said getting it all in the elevator would be hard, Brayden thought. He stared at the dresser trying to figure out how to maneuver it into the elevator. He grinned when an idea finally came to him.

“We’re stupid. Up on its side, it’ll go right in.”

“Is the elevator tall enough?” Liam asked.

“If we can flip it on its side and it’s still roughly my height it’ll be fine.” Brayden explained.

“Okay.”

Liam and Brayden scooted it in quickly and went down to the parking garage, quickly lifting it into the truck bed.

“Sick, it fits.” Liam huffed.

“I also wasn’t sure it would.” Brayden huffed back.

The two of them reappeared in the apartment door only to be handed the bedframe. Lillian waved them straight back downstairs with it.

By 10 o’clock Brayden and Alex finished loading the mattress into the back of the truck Liam brought. Brayden grinned at the mattress snuggly packed into the bed of the truck with his comforter stuffed in a black bag in the cab. His pillowcases were shoved in there too, but the pillows were thrown away when it was revealed what was under the protective layer. Brayden jumped off the back of the truck and slammed the tailgate shut. Lillian and Brayden huddled around the driver’s door where Liam was inside, as Alex climbed in the other side.

“Breakfast on the way home?” Liam posed.

“Sure. We’ll hit the Tims by your place and eat when we get to yours before we head to the new place.” Brayden confirmed.

“Let’s go double check the apartment before we head out, you guys wait for us?” Lillian chirped.

Brayden looked down quizzically at her and she just smiled back.

“Sure.” The brothers replied in unison.

“C’mon.” Grabbing Brayden’s hand.

“There is nothing in there you know?” Brayden trudged behind her.

“I know, but you didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ll wait outside while you do your last walk through.” She smiled knowingly at him.

Brayden just nodded and gripped her hand tighter as they made their way up to the apartment. She let go right as they reached the door and gave him a comforting look before he went in alone. The posters hung around the main space were gone, making the walls look empty. The TV in the living room had been packed into Lillian’s jeep the night before. He could already feel his absence in the apartment. The bathroom was empty to his left when he peaked inside. Brayden finally made it to his room. He pushed the door open slowly. There was no evidence it had ever been his room. The room looked so small. He looked at the empty space quietly for a while. He remembered when it looked like this when he moved in. He thought it was so big then. Brayden felt his eyes sting again but blinked away the feeling. He murmured his goodbye to the space before he made his way to James’ room. He knocked quietly. James swung the door open a few second later.

“You’re done?”

“Yeah, I just thought I’d say goodbye.”

“Right.”

“Yeah. So, bye, I guess. I’ll probably see you around cuz of work.”

“We’ll probably cross paths at the hockey games or something yeah, or a conference.” James added lamely.

“Right. Oh yeah, here’s the keys.” Brayden pulled the keys off his key ring.

“Thanks.” James cleared his throat.

“Yeah.” Brayden sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“I’ll see you around Brayden.” Offering him a weak smile.

“I’ll see you, James.” Offering his hand for another handshake.

This time James took it and shook his hand briskly. Brayden just nodded at him before dropping his hand and walking back to the front door.

“Brayden?”

“Yeah?” Turning back around.

James looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t, so he tried to look at Brayden meaningfully.

“I – Just, do better than I did. Okay?”

“I’ll do my best. I swear.” Brayden nodded sadly back.

“Bye.”

“Bye James.”

With that, James shut his door softly. Brayden took a deep breath and made to open the front door. He looked around one more time before opening it. Lillian leaned patiently on the wall across the hall. She looked up and smiled at him gently, reaching out to hug him immediately.

“Feeling any better?” Came muffled from her face in his chest.

“I think so. Let’s get something to eat and then move me into our new apartment.”

“Our.” Lillian scoffed and shook her head.

Brayden just grinned at her, taking her hand in his.

“Thanks for making sure I had that.” He whispered.

“Of course.” Squeezing his hand.

Brayden took another deep breath as the finally pulled out of the garage. Her brothers noticed him right away and started following him back home. Lillian just turned the radio up with a grin and sang along with the song playing. Brayden felt the tightness in his chest finally melt away. He was moving into the apartment he would live in with her one day. Brayden joined in singing along, all the way to her house.